ASK GERBER: I PUT SO MUCH OF MYSELF INTO MY BUSINESS THAT I WORRY I AM FALLING SHORT AS A SPOUSE AND PARENT. WHAT CAN I DO?

by Randy Gerber, Founder & Principal

The following contains excerpts from my soon-to-be released book. To receive notification when the book is published, like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.

While owning a business has obstacles in itself, running your own business unfortunately also runs the risk of having less time to spend with your family. Changing your roles from worker to owner will often make you less emotionally available for your children and/or spouse compared to when you worked for someone else.

Your business is an extension of you, and as such, your passion for the company will likely compete with your ability and desire to tend to the emotional needs of your loved ones – especially at the beginning, when your enthusiasm for your new business is at its highest.

Particularly in the first few years of a business, your schedule is likely to be extraordinarily hectic and your mental distractions, even worse. One of the biggest sources of frustration you will have to combat is sitting across the dinner table from your family as you always have, except now you will feel a mental and emotional disconnect, often feeling as if you’re not even in the same room as them. If you are or become distracted and distant, you will begin to send signals to your spouse and your family that can often lead to long-term problems.

So when you come to the realization that your intimate relations are disconnected, fix it! Communicate with your loved ones.  

When it comes to helping your spouse deal with the new distance, establishing a basisfor communication is key. The best approach is not a formal introduction of your efforts, but, rather, to simply start asking questions, share your feelings and get those listening ears finely tuned! Start a new ritual with your spouse: Gather at the same time, same day, same place every week to talk about what is happening the next week in your business. The time and location matter. It is important that you not have any distractions and that you are able to make a significant connection with one another. Like most things in life, it is about quality and not quantity.

One of the most valuable investments you can make in the effort to manage your time with your business and with your children wisely is the investment in an administrative assistant who is dedicated to making your life simpler. Many first generation entrepreneurs don’t want to spend the money on an assistant until their businesses get on solid ground financially. But, an assistant’s relatively small salary is almost always worth it. An assistant can help you make your life simpler by prioritizing efficiently, reminding you of important events or dates, managing your calendar, scheduling your meetings, etc. Learn more about hiring an administrative assistant here.

There will be times when you don’t get as much time with your children and spouse as you’d like, but your efforts to establish communication protocols and to share your time will certainly help you and your family through these difficult moments. And, when the stress of it all gets to be too much: don’t worry. Your spouse and children love you.

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